The pressures we feel as women today are endless – some days, I feel like asking myself, is there anything or anyone that is real anymore?
Years ago, I got into an argument with one of my best friends – I came to realize there were times when she would be completely honest with me…but others, she would alter reality ever so slightly. I didn’t know why. We had been through thick and thin together creating a bond that I knew would never go away, but why couldn’t she be completely honest with me?
The day I got on a plane to move across the country, I knew I had to say something to her – I told her that until she could be honest with herself, she could never really be honest with me. It was months before we spoke again. I was devastated but I knew that if we were going to remain friends across all those miles, we needed to be real with each other. I knew that as I said those words to her, I also needed to look within…was I being real within my own world?
It took me a few years to realize that I wasn’t even being honest with myself with who I was or what I wanted. The cold hard truth was that I had no idea what I wanted out of life – I had lost my sense of self. I realized I was doing what was expected – I felt like I was in a boat and just going down stream, letting the current dictate my path. I was passive in this journey.
It wasn’t until my physical body started to give out that I realized I needed to get real. I had to get real with who I was and what I was doing with my life. My mind kept spinning…how did I even begin to figure out who I was or what I wanted? I realized I had developed my entire sense of being around doing what was expected.
It wasn’t until I became quiet within that I started to get to know the real me. I had to let it all go. Let go of the expectations, let go of the “supposed to” behaviors. I had to come to grips that I would disappoint people. I had to learn to not care what other people thought of me. I had to learn to be real with myself. I also had to remember, there isn’t necessarily a good or bad, there is just reality – the reality of life.
Learning to be real takes time. I had to ask myself why with every decision. Why was I staying at work late, why was I going out on a date with a man I really didn’t like, why was I consuming an entire bottle of wine every night? Am I doing something just because I “should”?
Learn to get real with getting real – with yourself, with others. Ask yourself why – why do you do what you do? Am I meeting an expectation that isn’t real or do I even care? Be true to who you are and what you want out of this short journey we call life.
It was such a pleasure reading this article. Women usually place others before themselves and stretch far enough just to make others happy. We often forget that a happy person can only bring happiness to others. This article shed light on a very important aspect of life., getting real. Asking yourself why will open up answers that will help to make that important decision in life. And remember that “I” have to exist for life to pertain so take care of the present and the future will take care of itself.